If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize