You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize