he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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