just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
