We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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