That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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