Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
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i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
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I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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