I am puke
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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