i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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