we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
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