she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
