she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize