Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize