My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Duck Duck Cougar?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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