she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
