My hand turned me down
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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