North Korea, Best Korea!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
