all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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