so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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