Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize