That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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