i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
