Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
