Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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