I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize