I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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