just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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