dude i'm inner monologue high
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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