You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
