You're a womanizer and a bitch.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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