I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My ass is underappreciated
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
