haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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