YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
