This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
