Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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