just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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