I'm really into asian looking animals
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
