I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
