Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
