Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
