she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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