Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
