where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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