sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
