Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
