So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
