Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
