jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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