apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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