a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
