4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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