I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
