i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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