you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
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Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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