And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
