apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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